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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830038">Some Guys Have All the Luck</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenn0nLem0n/pseuds/Lenn0nLem0n'>Lenn0nLem0n</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>First Time, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oral Sex, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow(ish) Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:27:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24830038</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenn0nLem0n/pseuds/Lenn0nLem0n</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A very lonely Harry Sullivan gets an unexpected visitor in his quarters one night. While he helps usher Benton through the ins and out of making love to a man, Benton opens his eyes in return. (And his heart.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Benton/Harry Sullivan, John Benton/Mike Yates (implied)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Some Guys Have All the Luck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yes, the title is from the Rod Stewart song. I'm that lame.</p>
<p>This was brit-picked by the Notes feature I wrote this on, so *please* let me know if you see any glaring errors~</p>
<p>Also, yes, I am fully aware that literally no one asked for this pairing, but I just thought that these two would make an adorable couple, okay? XD</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Harry wearily made his way through the silent and dim corridors of the nearly ancient house UNIT was using as a temporary base near the latest potential disaster. It had been a bit of a tough day, he thought to himself before wryly grimacing at the extreme understatement. His services as a surgeon had become all too necessary for three poor NCOs, the men having gotten severe acid burns from <em>something</em> down at the Lizard's Peninsula and the poor buggers had to be carried out by their comrades. Only two of them had pulled through, and it was going to be touch and go for them, Harry being ultimately unsure if they'd make it.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">He had gotten oddly spoiled with UNIT, he miserably reflected. Sure, death was a constant spectre and Harry had seen a few men lose their lives...but they hadn't been his responsibility, his patients. Harry wasn't left with the crushing sense of failure, grief, and dread that came with reporting the death to the Brigadier at 2 in the morning.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">The man hadn't been asleep either, it had seemed, when Harry knocked on his bedroom door. The door opened and revealed the Brigadier in pyjamas and his dressing gown, his lips drawn into a tight line, his moustache perfectly straight and his dark, expressive eyes shining with regret and more than a hint of the guilt that Harry felt.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Who did we lose?," his words echoing in Harry's mind even now, minutes later.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Private Jones. The burns were just too severe, 90% of his body, at least. It was all we could do to make sure the poor soul didn't suffer any more than he already had," Harry's own voice came to him, causing him to fist his hands tight at his sides for the rest of his journey through the seemingly endless bloody hallway.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Lieutenant...Harry, I know you did everything you could," the Brigadier's voice was so soft that it had made Harry feel weak. "Go back to your quarters, try to get some rest. You've been operating for 18 hours straight."</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">In the present, Harry wondered if he had made a face or somehow broadcasted his displeasure at the notion of resting now, when those men could use him at any moment, given the Brigadier's preemptive mention of how long he'd been on his feet. He must have or the Brigadier wouldn't have followed it up with: "That's an order, Sullivan. Even if you can't sleep, well, do try to rest."</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Yes, Sir," Harry had responded wearily, his shoulders sagging slightly in exhausted surrender.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">An awkward shared grimace of smile and one even more awkward pat to his shoulder and Harry was on his way here, staring at the door to his bedroom. It was a heavy ornate wooden number, beautifully carved when one could actually see it. UNIT kept the lights down for a multitude of reasons, chief among them likely being cost, and it lead to everything being shadows that Harry was vaguely able to make out.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">A lingering gaze at the shapes of the sideboard and vase next to the door confirmed that this was in fact his room, and the door knob turned easily as Harry opened it, sighing heavily. He groped for the light switch, pressing the top button and turning the overhead light on. It hummed to life and Harry instinctively covered his eyes at the sudden brightness.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">So did his apparent company, Harry could just make out that it was a large man as his eyes adjusted and he jumped backward, painfully slamming his back into the dresser. "Bloody Hell!," he gasped, hand coming up to press against his chest as if it would somehow calm his racing heart.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Sorry! Sorry! I'm terribly sorry about that, Lieutenant," Benton said, blue eyes wide and clearly apologetic as he stood from the chair in the corner of the room, hands outstretched in front of him in a placating manner.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Steady on, man!," Harry cried, his heart slowly coming back down to a normal rhythm. "What are you doing here?," he followed up, tone softer this time. And in the bloody dark, no less, Harry wondered. A sudden thought occurred to him just as the Sergeant was opening his mouth again, pulling down his beret and twisting it in his large hands, and Harry adopted a look of concern of his own. "Oh Lord, this <em>is</em> my room, yes? Please forgive me Benton, if it's--"</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Uncharacteristically, Benton interrupted him, earnest in his usual way. "No, Sir. Uh, this is your room," he began nervously, causing Harry's brows to furrow together in exhausted confusion. Benton continued twisting his poor regulation beret in a way that assured he'd have to replace it before he went on duty again.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">After several moments of awkward and tense silence, Harry waiting for the Sergeant to speak, the man continued. "I'm sorry, Sir. Very sorry," he said softly, his eyes dropping from Harry's face to stare at the floorboards. What looked like shame came across the young Sergeant's expressive face and Harry softened further. Benton was always a kind chap, it was hard to see him in such a state.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I didn't mean to-to frighten you--"</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">This time Harry cut him off, the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Then perhaps you shouldn't've been sitting in the dark," he remarked jokingly, tone very nearly fond.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton's face contorted even further, apparently further shamed by Harry's remark instead of comforted. Drat. "I'm sorry, Sir, I know this is...irregular...and I understand if you want me to leave immediately," Benton continued, far more awkward than Harry had ever seen him, clearly struggling to continue on. Harry grew concerned, though he was unsure of what exactly it was that Benton had sought him out for, in such an atypical way. He was also unsure of how to proceed, simply standing there, back still pressed against the dresser.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I also understand if you want to report me for disciplinary action, Sir," was tacked on after a moment and Harry finally spurred into action. He crossed the few steps over to Benton, not hesitating to lay a hand on one of the Sergeant's elbows, squeezing gently at it through Benton's uniform before letting it fall away.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I'm sure that isn't necessary, Old Chap," Harry said kindly, gesturing back to the chair that Benton had been sitting in for who knew how long once he met Harry's gaze again, worried bright blue eyes meeting Harry's concerned grey blue eyes.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton's eyes were very worried, clearly as anxious as the rest of his body language suggested, though it was beyond evident that he was grateful for Harry's sympathy. His posture sagged slightly. "Thank you, Sir," he murmured quietly as he sat back down, gratitude overpowering the anxiety in his expression for a few seconds.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry moved to sit down on the edge of his bed, his knees brushing the Sergeant's due to the small size of the room and the fact that they'd crammed it full of furniture. It was a tad awkward, but Benton didn't seem to notice, clearly trying to come up with how to phrase something.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Trying to save him the trouble, Harry leapt to the first conclusion that made sense. "Is this about Jones, Stewart, and Collins?," Harry asked as gently as he could, anxiety filling him as Benton looked over at him again.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I'm sorry to say," Harry began before Benton could reply, "that Private Jones died about an hour ago. Stewart and Collins are still..." soldiering on, Harry nearly said, "fighting," he settled for instead.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton's face twisted again, one of his hands now crushing the hat in his grasp and the other trying to nonchalantly wipe at his eyes. Harry's heart grew heavier as the Sergeant's eyes welled up. Of course he'd known that Jones and Benton were friends, Benton acting as a bit of a mentor to the younger enlisted man who was only just old enough not to be called a boy.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I'm sorry," he said at the exact moment that Benton also began to speak.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"That hadn't been...I didn't know." Harry nearly missed Benton's wavering words, though they registered shortly after they both stopped speaking.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"It wasn't why I came here, Sir...not really," Benton continued on, misery at the loss of his friend marrying with the unwelcome expression of shame from moments earlier. It was a combination that threw Harry for a loop.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Confused again, Harry leaned forward, brow furrowed in concerned confusion. "Then why <em>did</em> you come here, Sergeant?," Harry asked, his tone so soft that it was scarcely above a whisper.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">The Sergeant's face was more anxious than ever, but he didn't shy away from eye contact again. Harry could see that Benton's hands were trembling, though it seemed as though it was fear, not sadness that had him shaking. "Benton, are you quite all right? I dare say, you're shaking like a leaf."</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His words only caused the Sergeant to blush slightly, his gaze dropping away again, clasping and unclasping his hat. "It occurred to me...And maybe I'm a bit of a fool for not feeling this way sooner, I don't know. It's just, it's all so uncertain, isn't it? Any day <em>I</em> could...well, I've been a lucky bastard so far but my luck might run out...And I had to know. One way or another. I can't...die not knowing," Benton said, blue eyes meeting his at the end with a surety that Harry hadn't seen in Benton, this entire odd interaction.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Know?," Harry asked, more confused than ever. If this wasn't about Jones' condition, what was this about? "I'm afraid that I'm not following you."</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His confusion seemed to spur Benton onwards, his posture straightening before the man clearly hesitated again. Moments stretched on, more tense than an armed stand off, before Benton finally responded. One of Benton's hands, trembling where it was usually steady and stalwart, raised from his crumpled beret...and settled squarely on Harry's knee. The Sergeant hardly had to reach far given the cramped conditions, his large hand gently cradling Harry's kneecap through his uniform trousers. The touch was featherlight, though Benton's hand shook so strongly that it practically vibrated in place.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry's eyebrows immediately climbed skyward. His heart pounded against his ribcage, his eyes widening in surprise and then fear at having been found out. The fear of being <em>obvious</em> was one that Harry battled daily, particularly being in the Navy with all of the ribbing about sailors at sea. His penchant for taking pains with his appearance didn't help matters much, when examined under the lens that he was perpetually single. The fear ebbed once Harry had a mo' to think, reason dictating that no heterosexual man would behave such a way before a queerbashing or blackmail. Not to mention, of course, that friendly Sergeant Benton was hardly the type for either of those extremes.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry was just beginning to feel warm at the idea that such a course of action meant that the handsome young Sergeant with the easygoing grin and stunning blue eyes fancied him, when the welcome warmth of Benton's hand disappeared suddenly. Apparently, Harry had taken too long to acclimatise and the Sergeant had taken his initial fear as something entirely different.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Oh, God. I've gone and done it now, Sir. I'm so sorry, so so so sorry," Benton began to babble, standing so suddenly that he rocked backward, leaving Harry worried that the man was about to fall over. Benton looked as if he were about to faint and like he wished he would, simply so he wouldn't have to continue this conversation. "I'll report myself," he began desperately, the same fear Harry had felt moments before clearly washing over the Sergeant now.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">The fear of having everything you'd built for yourself come crashing down because of a preference seemingly predetermined by the universe. The fear of being known only as a homosexual, a sexual deviant who wasn't fit for society, let alone active duty. It was probably doubly worse for Benton, having put himself out on the line so far, sneaking into a superior officer's quarters to attempt a seduction.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">It was brave but also tremendously foolish, all heart like he'd come to expect from Benton in their dealings together and the handful of times that they'd socialised outside of UNIT or the Doctor. It was also everything that Harry had been missing, cold bed and empty arms, empty life. Bloody unexpected like everything in his life now, but just what he needed.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Unable and unwilling to watch Benton walk away, Harry reached out for his arm again, coming to his feet as well. He was considerably more unsteady on his feet, a combination of exhaustion, surprise, and his natural clumsiness. Benton reflexively steadied him with his strong hands, his touch not lingering at all and leaving Harry feeling strangely bereft without it.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Steady on, Old Thing," he said softly in answer to the utterly perplexed look Benton favoured him with. Realisation slowly dawned on the Sergeant as he looked down at where Harry's hand was still holding on to his elbow. Surprised amazement caused Benton's mouth to open slightly and his eyebrows to raise, which in turn had Harry smiling slightly. "You weren't wrong, my dear man," Harry added even more quietly, suddenly shy.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">With a boldness that he did not feel, he rubbed at Benton's upper arm in an unmistakable caress. "Nor were you unwelcome, far from it. I was just…surprised." Harry's eyelashes dipped, Harry blushing slightly at the knowledge that he was now past the point of no return, blatantly flirting with a junior officer. An adorably charming and genuine junior officer that Harry would have to be deaf, dumb, blind, and possibly dead not to fancy at least a little.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton's face was now awash with hope that Harry felt echoed in the raw parts of his heart. When those blue eyes drifted down to his smile and shyly back up, Harry's smile broadened into a sweet grin. His heart was pounding again, but pleasantly this time. "Sir," Benton murmured almost demurely, his eyelashes lowering as he stepped closer to Harry.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">They were nearly nose-to-nose, as there wasn't much of a height difference between them, and that bitof knowledge only served to make Harry's heart beat faster. "Harry, please," he gently corrected, his breath catching as their bodies pressed together.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton's answering smile had Harry weak at the knees, a bit giddy to have all that adorable enthusiasm directed at him. "John, then," Benton replied, his eyes raking over Harry's face, lingering on his lips.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry couldn't stand it any longer, the anticipation at a fever pitch as he cupped Benton's face with unsteady hands. "I'd very much like to kiss you now, John. If you'd like," Harry murmured, doing his own bit of staring. He yearned for it, to be held and comforted, wanted.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">For it was clear that John wanted him, all blushing smile and sweet tenderness. "I'd like that very much," John breathed, standing stock still as Harry closed the rest of the distance between them, his pretty eyes shutting in a way that had Harry nearly drowning in longing.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">They both drew in sharp, shaky breaths as their lips brushed, John gasping so much that he nearly pulled back. It would have been worrying if he hadn't immediately pressed even closer, his head tipping down just a fraction to properly kiss Harry. Their lips were now firmly pressed together, Harry's hands moving to John's shoulders.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">He was still trembling in Harry's embrace and, judging by the awkwardness of the way he moved his mouth against Harry's and the way John's hands lay at his sides, Harry could only conclude that this was John Benton's first time snogging a man. However, before Harry could begin to worry that this might all be some experiment on the other man's behalf, John pulled back and fixed Harry with a look that left him blushing.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John was breathing heavily despite the fact that they had shared a relatively chaste kiss, entirely closed mouthed, and he was flushed so beautifully. His eyes were lit with a desire that was deeper than Harry might have anticipated. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," John murmured, voice deeper and rougher in a way that had distinctly naughty thoughts crossing through Harry's mind. Some of them must have been obvious, as John's eyes twinkled further and he was smiling as he kissed Harry again.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">This time, John's hands were framing his face and, oh, sliding into his hair. The man's hands were large but gentle, tangling in the curls without pulling them as he deepened their kiss. His movements were still tinged with the awkwardness of his first time kissing a man, but Benton was a damn good kisser and it only made his nerves appealing.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry sighed happily as John firmly invaded his space, his strong body as close as it could get as they kissed and kissed. It was not his first time kissing a man, but he'd rarely been brave enough to let someone so close when just a rumour could ruin his career. However, his previous experiences paled in comparison to this, he'd never felt such heat from intimacy before, had never felt so...turned on by a simple snog. All of his previous experiences seemed dispassionate in the face of John's evident desire.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry's hands scrambled to get a hold on John's back, roaming down the back of his field uniform and then fisting in the material. John moaned softly, helplessly, into the kiss and Harry was tenting his trousers almost instantly at full mast. It was all too much, beautiful Benton and his cautious desire, not unlike how he must have been the first time he'd been with a girl, all long limbs and tender hesitations. The knowledge that he was John's first man only served as an aphrodisiac, his eagerness to please Harry threatening to send the man straight to the heavens.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Once John had grown more comfortable, Harry coaxed open John's lips with the tip of his tongue, swallowing the groan that he earned in the process. He had to bite back a moan of his own as John gave as good as he got, teasing his mouth right back. The muffled sound sent Benton's hips instinctively rocking against his, both men breaking the kiss to gasp as their hardnesses met.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Much to Harry's disappointment, John pulled back most of the way, their lower bodies no longer in contact. "Sorry," John apologised sheepishly, flushed a dark red. Harry was momentarily distracted when one of Benton's hands came down to stroke his cheek, lingering sweetly on his sideburn. "I'm normally much more of a gentleman," he added ruefully, his thumb tracing patterns on Harry's cheek, rubbing against the grain of the stubble that was developing there.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry found himself awash with tenderness for John Benton, his sweet nature a marvel in their world, and quite amused, as well. An affectionate smile pulled at Harry's lips, making John smile shyly in return as Harry's grip on his uniform slackened and Harry rubbed along his broad back. John's thumb stroked over his lower lip, looking every bit as if he well and truly fancied Harry. He had never considered the possibility before, John was friendly and thoughtful with everyone, but now that Harry knew, well it was mutual.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His gaze locked on John's smile, Harry murmured softly but clearly: "I don't seem to recall objecting." John's eyes widened a fraction at the implication in Harry's words and tone before his face split into a grin that was all devilish delight. Harry's heart raced again, his arousal ratcheting upwith the way John followed up by pressing his solid frame against Harry.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"That so?," Benton asked as he crowded further into Harry's space, already knowing the answer. Enough time passed without any further moves from John that Harry was just beginning to wonder if that wasn't meant rhetorically, when John spoke again. "I haven't done this before," he admitted quietly, his confidence faltering and his expression growing serious as he looked into Harry's grey blue eyes. After a beat, his eyes widening slightly at the implications of his wording, Benton hastily corrected: "I mean I've never made love with a man, not that I've <em>never…</em>" Harry's expression must have been appropriately bemused, as John huffed out a slightly nervous chuckle, his nose bumping Harry's.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">It filled Harry with a warmth he hadn't felt before that John had specifically referred to the impending act as making love, as opposed to shagging or any of the other euphemisms or phrases that existed. The affection and tenderness that John seemed to possess toward him made Harry believe that John would very much be making love to him, not merely sating his most secret desire with the only like-minded gent in the place. That, coupled with the desire that burned through his body with every touch or expression that crossed Benton's face and Benton's eagerness to please, decided it for Harry.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Still half-smiling from the humour of John's slip-up, Harry slid his hands down to John's waist. "You're a clever man, what you don't know, well, I'm sure you can imagine," Harry flirted, his voice sounding far more steady and confident than he felt. He hardly had a plethora of experience with flirting or with love-making, but Benton made him feel bolder than he ever had.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry was rewarded with an audible catch in John's breathing, and another unconscious rock of his hips. The pressure made Harry twitch in his trousers, his erection seeking further stimulation as he savoured the pleasurable sensation, dulled as it was between multiple layers of cotton and wool. Despite the layers of their uniforms, Harry could feel John's answering hardness jutting into his hip, radiating warmth, the Sergeant's cotton field combat trousers considerably more giving than Harry's wool uniform trousers.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John tilted his head enough to place his lips right next to Harry's ear, his warm breath tickling it, causing goosebumps to form on Harry's neck. "I have, Sir. Harry. I've imagined a great deal," he whispered, the words all seduction wrapped up in eager, earnest awkwardness that was just so Benton.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">He scarcely had a moment to formulate a response before John was kissing his lips again. This time, John deepened it, thoroughly snogging Harry in a way that was growing less and less awkward with each passing moment. He moaned softly as Benton's tongue teased at his own, pressing tighter against the Sergeant as he was kissed within an inch of his life. It seemed as though John was certainly no slouch when it came to kissing, offering the same intense dedication he showed to every task, combined with his natural sweetness.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry tried to give as good as he was getting, John's own passion riling him up beyond anything he'd felt before. His hands tightened around John's hips, longing to go lower and grasp at his arse. John's hands had a bit of wander down Harry's neck and strong shoulders, leaving the man shuddering with pleasure and softly sighing at the tender exploration. Those broad hands were warm and questing, clearly meaning to both appreciate Harry's body and learn the curves of it, and Harry struggled to make sense of his sudden streak of amazing luck.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His heart was racing as John kept kissing him, his hips rocking into Harry's and Harry moving in counterpoint to prolong the contact. Harry's hands also began to explore, sliding down to grasp John's firm backside, causing the man to gasp raggedly against Harry's mouth. A moan escaped Harry at John's response, feeling as if he might spontaneously combust due to the rush of heat it sent through him.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Encouraged, Harry used his hold on John's arse to rock their hips together more forcefully, shivering at the way John sighed into their kiss, his movements growing sloppy as Harry distracted him. Breathless, John pulled his lips away, brilliant blue eyes staring half-lidded into Harry's. "I want to be with you," he said nearly desperately, before dipping his head to kiss along the side of Harry's strong jaw.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry wasn't sure exactly what John meant by that, but in his haze of warm pleasure, wrapped in the strength of Benton's arms, his lips trailing down Harry's neck with an adoration Harry had never felt before, Harry decided that he was going to choose to believe that John meant something...more. Something more than just this first, desperate need to feel love, something that would give them both more than just the job. It was easy to imagine, with the way John spoke and acted, kissing him as if he were afraid that Harry might turn to smoke in his arms and speaking with such desire that it made Harry feel absurdly powerful.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John's lips kissed gently at his neck, careful but wetly, leaving Harry to tilt back his head with a strangled moan. His hands moved up to tangle in John's brown hair and stroke blindly over his broad shoulders. Harry couldn't ever recall feeling such passion, such abandon, his body moving unconsciously against John's. He was positively overcome, breathing heavily and flushed, and so aroused that it felt as if his every nerve ending were alight with pleasure.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"John," Harry moaned out, voice as strained as his trousers, gently pushing back on Benton's shoulders. Obligingly, if reluctantly, John raised his head from Harry's neck and Harry pulled away enough to be able to look at him properly without the threat of going cross-eyed in the attempt.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry's breath hitched at the raw beauty of the Sergeant, the blueness of his eyes highlighted by the deep red blush staining his cheeks, his already plump lips even more swollen because of their kissing. His handsome face was broadcasting pure desire and Harry, again, marvelled at his good fortune. Perhaps one day, John might tell him what exactly he'd done to inspire such desire.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">In the meantime, Harry could only think of his escalating need, the tease of John's clothed body against his nowhere near enough. He longed to get the other man undressed and bring their bodies together again, longed to slide down John's body and take the man into his mouth, into his hands...anywhere he could get him. His hands came up to cup John's burning hot cheeks, smiling sweetly at him.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John favoured Harry with a lopsided grin that begged to be kissed away, but Harry, just barely, resisted the temptation. "Don't you think...," Harry began, pausing to wet his lips with his tongue, John's eyes tracking the movement before meeting his gaze again. "Don't you think that we might be more comfortable on the, ah, bed?," Harry asked, heart hammering at the knowledge that he was officially asking the Sergeant into his bed.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Yes!," John replied emphatically, before his expression grew slightly embarrassed at his enthusiasm. "Er, I mean, I'd like that very much," John corrected, his enthusiasm still blatantly obvious. It made Harry grin sunnily as he gently extracted himself from John's embrace. John looked confused until Harry began heading for the light switch, loosening his tie on his way.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Could we," John's voice came out shy and uncertain, making Harry twist his head back around to look at him, "leave a light on?" The question had Harry beaming again, his hand coming down to adjust himself in his trousers at the knowledge that John very much wanted to see him. It was so different from gropings in the rowing shed at medical school or hollow pleasure sought in the dark with someone who wouldn't look him in the eye again. John's eyes greedily followed the movement of his hand, making Harry duck his head slightly out of embarrassment at his overriding desire.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Would you turn on the bedside lamp?," Harry asked, feeling shy at the delight on John's face. He moved to lock the door as John stepped over to the bedside table and turned the switch until it clicked in the silence of the room. Harry switched off the overhead light, the room now no longer bright. Instead, it had a warm gentle glow exuded by the antique lamp, a sort of amber or honey coloured glow that made Harry feel oddly at ease.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">It didn't hurt, of course, that it was still plenty bright enough for Harry to properly see John, strands of his brown hair glittering in the glow of the lamp. They were just standing there, taking in the sight of one another from across the room, smiling timidly.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry was standing near the door still, Navy trousers straining at the front and lab coat rumpled in a way that had nothing to do with the disaster earlier and everything to do with a wonderfully handsy Sergeant. His curls were askew, frizzy and discombobulated from fingers carding through it, his face flushed but glowing with jovial nervousness. This was certainly not something he'd ever anticipated, but he was slowly starting to feel comfortable with the knowledge that, for whatever reason, Benton desired him. It was evident in every curve of John's face, yearning writ large over his expressive features and his gaze practically burning with longing. John's passion was also obvious the moment that Harry's eyes landed on the tented front of John's combat fatigues.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton's uniform was straining at the seams, his erection sizeable enough to be clearly visible in the baggy regulation fatigues. Harry longed to see him naked, to see if that part of John was as large as the rest of him, and he longed to memorise the curves of it and the rest of John's body. His eyes met John's and they both smiled shyly at one another, each clearly aware that the other had been caught up in staring at the physical evidence of their arousal.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Under Benton's watchful gaze, Harry moved over to the old wireless radio that was fast on its way to becoming an antique and turned the dial, filling the room with quiet music. It was just loud enough to make out the song and to drown out any noises that they might make, but quiet enough not to disturb the others. Harry's nerves returned with a vengeance as he turned back to find John staring at him with devoted desire, his heart racing and face flushing more than ever.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">They moved toward each other without speaking a word, meeting in the middle of the room again. The tension was thick with their combined desire, anticipation rising with every moment that passed. By the same, mutually unspoken agreement, they both toed off their shoes, leaving scuffs that would have to be polished out before their next shifts. That done, Harry reached out to lay a hand on Benton's scarf, loosening the knot slowly, giving him plenty of time to object. When Benton responded by loosening Harry's tie all the way and slipping it from around his neck, Harry smiled again, following suit with John's uniform scarf and starting on undoing the large buttons on the Sergeant's fatigue jacket, finding himself grateful that John had removed his webbing before coming here, as the extra buckles and well-stocked pockets would have made things even harder.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">As John's jacket came undone, Harry's lab coat was pushed down his wide shoulders to pool onto the floor, leaving Harry in his shirt sleeves and John's undershirt exposed. Harry smiled a slightly smug smile as John's hands stroked over his well-muscled arms again, feeling more than a bit proud that all of his days of rowing and rugby counted for something more than his trophies at home. John's hands were still having a feel as Harry sought out another deep kiss, his hands slipping underneath John's jacket, pushing it to the floor as well.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">He was rewarded with a soft sigh of a moan as the garment hit the floor and Harry's hands stroked over John's trim waist and lean-muscled frame. Harry responded with a moan of his own, his hands slipping under Benton's t-shirt to tease the sensitive skin there. John broke the kiss with a gasp, before releasing a breathy giggle.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"It tickles," John explained, the muscles of his lower abdomen twitching as Harry grinned. Of course John was ticklish, he found himself thinking, oddly delighted by the knowledge.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry was still smiling as Benton's hands moved to the front of his uniform dress shirt, the man's big fingers fumbling slightly on the small buttons. It was adorable to watch as John's brows furrowed together in concentration, trying to compensate for the clumsiness that was borne of John's nervous anticipation. Harry, naturally, kept his hands busy as Benton disrobed him, stroking over the man's chest and belly.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton caught him in a kiss when he finally reached the last buttons on Harry's sleeves, the angle slightly awkward as Harry hadn't been paying attention. It didn't matter, though, as they soon adjusted, lips pressing together in a searing kiss as John pushed Harry's button up shirt down his arms. John's hands wandered again, leaving Harry able to feel the heat coming from them through his thin undershirt.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">They parted again, panting slightly as they lifted their undershirts up and off, before John was on him again, his arms wrapping around Harry as he kissed him soundly. Harry was lost again as John's tongue teased his mouth, breathing raggedly as he gave into the sensations of those big hands roaming along his body, returning to the solid wall of his chest.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Unexpectedly, John moaned into his mouth as his hands found far more dense muscles than he was anticipating, the Sergeant pulling back to stare hard at Harry's chest in a way that made Harry feel positively chuffed to bits. They made eye contact as John's large hands teased at the muscular expanse of Harry's torso, clearly appreciating the masculine lines of him. John's gaze was smouldering now, leaving Harry feeling hot all over.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His hands moved to Benton's belt, undoing the buckle with shaking hands. The backs of his hands brushed against the length of John's erection through his trousers, causing John to moan and grip more tightly at Harry's broad biceps. Harry's eyes were torn between observing the expression of tortured want on Benton's handsome face and the tent in his trousers that was jumping up to greet him.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Breathing heavily, Harry tugged Benton closer by the belt loops, kissing the other man with more passion than he'd kissed, well, anyone with. It was just this shade of desperate, Harry's lips slightly off mark and his hands greedily opening up the fly of John's fatigues. Meanwhile, John was fumbling with Harry's belt, ultimately pulling back to look down and do it properly.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">In all honesty, Harry found himself grateful that John had pulled away enough for him to get a good look at the Sergeant's face as he pushed Harry's fly open. Almost insistently, Harry's arousal poked through the opening, his regulation briefs stretched tight against the sensitive flesh. John's eyes went wide in a way that seemed tailor made to inflate Harry's ego, his fingers gently teasing at him through the fabric of his pants before he pushed Harry's trousers down his thick thighs. His hands lingered a bit, stroking down the length of Harry's strong legs. Harry was surprised when John knelt down to help him step out of the tangle of his pooled trousers, the gesture striking him as tremendously thoughtful.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">By the time Harry returned the favour and they were standing in front of each other in nothing but their underwear, each man was aroused beyond words, the air between them thick with the anticipation of what was to come. Swallowing hard, Harry pressed a chaste kiss to Benton's lips, heart pounding as he pulled away and made towards the bed. He took a deep breath and dropped his briefs, his back turned to John so he could slip under the covers quickly.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry held his breath when he heard a catch in John's breathing, practically able to feel his eyes roaming over him. He was just about to slide under the duvet when John's voice softly called out for him to "wait, please." John's hands were on his lower back a moment later, nearly startling him. They curved around his hips, holding him gently in place.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"You're so...," Benton began, sounding slightly overcome, breathilycommunicating his awe of Harry's body with whispered words and hands that started roaming everywhere they could reach. John's hands roamed over the tops of his thighs, his chest, his belly, leaving heat in their wake. His lips pressed to the nape of Harry's neck, his warm breath making Harry shiver as it stirred his hair. "Is it offensive if I say that you're beautiful?," Benton added, shyly and so genuine that Harry wasn't sure how to react, settling for turning around in Benton's hold and kissing that sweetness right off of his lips.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Perhaps he ought to have found it offensive, another man might have threatened by a perceived slight to his manhood, but Harry was far too busy being flattered at being on the receiving end of such devotion to take offence. He kissed John methodically, trying to pour all of the affection he felt into the kiss so it wouldn't come bubbling up when Harry was in the throes of love-making. As much as he was beginning to feel those sort of feelings for the man in his embrace, Harry was afraid of putting his heart out on the line anymore than he might already have. So, Harry kissed John with all the devotion that the man seemed determined to send his way, only pulling back once he was beginning to get lightheaded from lack of proper air.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">When he pulled back, John's eyes darted downward to his length and threatened to send Harry over the edge with the way he licked at his lips before meeting Harry's eyes again. Harry couldn't help but reach down and relieve some of the building pressure by cupping his erection, causing them both to release a moan. It was beyond flattering, John's reaction, and Harry didn't quite know how to cope with the full force of John's desire.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Shyly, John stepped back far enough to drop his own pants, his hands fidgeting at his sides as he tried to give Harry a good look while fighting the urge to cover himself. Not that it would have worked, Harry thought to himself dryly, as he took in the sight of John's impressive length. He smiled when John chuckled nervously at the attention, his erection twitching under Harry's scrutiny.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">The frantic nature of their coupling had ebbed, leaving behind something softer and timid as Harry turned down the bedcovers and slid to lay on the bed, scooting over far enough that John could join him. John eagerly followed him into bed, propping himself up on an elbow as he bent his head to kiss Harry again, gentle and slow. It was just what Harry's frazzled nerves needed, the nervous tension of the past few moments easing at the tender application of a proper kiss from an enamoured Sergeant.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">A proper kiss, it was. John's lips moving sweetly against his, kissing him like he was something to truly savour. His free hand caressed along Harry's bare torso, following the grooves of muscle etched into Harry's body through years of hard work. John seemed to appreciate the fruits of his labours more so than anyone else had, even Harry himself.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry's own hands stroked over Benton as well, one hand combing through his long hair -- one of the perks of UNIT that he'd never fully appreciated until now, his hand tangling through soft brown locks as he fondly brushed aside the man's bangs -- and the other hand stroking along the length of Benton's back. It was intoxicating, the feeling of John's warm skin, completely bare to his touch, as John shifted closer until their bodies were touching.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">A pleased sigh escaped John as they pressed together from head to toe, his arousal pressing perfectly into the hollow of Harry's hip and his thigh gingerly settling against Harry's erection. He was hot and hard against Harry, already dripping with want though Harry hadn't even gotten a hand on John yet. It was maddeningly arousing, especially combined with the softness of John's thigh rubbing against his own erection, hard muscles moving against his length.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">After a moment of rocking against one another and trading deep, impassioned kisses, Benton pulled back, twisting to lay nearly on top of Harry as Harry shifted to lie on his back beneath him. "Do you want to bugger me?," John asked quietly but oh so sincerely, his face mere inches from Harry's, absolutely flooring Harry with the way he appeared to want him to say yes. Harry's erection throbbed at the thought of it, but it wasn't the wisest choice in a house crammed full of their fellow soldiers, when someone could come looking for the Chief Medical Officer at any time. Not to mention, of course, that he didn't have anything that could be used as a lubricant and he refused to even contemplate dry penetration, having been on the unfortunate end of it himself.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Bloody Hell," Harry breathed in reply,his hand moving to run along John's jaw. Despite his very reasonable mental objections, visions of John's body yielding to his filled his mind's eye; of those long legs wrapped around his waist or draped over his shoulders, of shagging that beautifully maddening man until he came off from Harry's touch, of his body gripping Harry inside and out. Harry was struggling to keep his wits about him, his face betraying exactly how much John was affecting him as his gaze positively radiated want. His gaze was electric and, for the moment, unashamed about the desire that was sharper and more real than anything Harry had ever felt before. "You're a marvel, John," he said, amused and amazed all at once.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His words brought a deeper blush to Benton's face, an adorable little smile curving his lips and taking Harry's breath away. He couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with a deep affection for the other man, one that threatened to swallow him whole. It drowned out the sharpness of his lust for a moment, his need ebbing away like the tide as he was overtaken by the need to make this night as great for John as he could. It was a strangely possessive tenderness that stole over him that couldn't be repressed, his heart swelling against his better judgment.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"You have no idea how much I want to be inside you," Harry whispered hotly, almost surprised at the sensual tone of his own voice. John's blush deepened further into a nearly raspberry shade in the most gorgeous way, leaving Harry feeling drunk with power. He'd never had this affect on anyone before but it was certainly something that he'd begun to adore. "However, for your first time, well, this isn't exactly the best place for it," Harry continued on, delicately and almost mournfully. "Too many people around for either of us to properly relax, you understand."</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton looked slightly crestfallen for a moment, then a thought apparently occurred to him. A shy smile followed soon after, squeezing at Harry's heart as it seemed to light Benton up from the inside out. "But, it's not the only way we can," John began, pausing to swallow hard, his suddenly dry throat clicking, "make love," he finished, Harry able to feel the way John's heart pounded from where they were pressed chest-to-chest.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">At first, Harry could only offer up a far too sappy smile in response, his hand cupping John's face and his thumb tracing the curve of John's plump lower lip. It moved to the dimple on John's chin of its own accord before Harry pressed an impulsive series of kisses along the same path and back up again. "No, it's not," Harry confirmed, happily sighing the words into John's mouth.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">As they kissed again, Harry nudged John gently with his leg, trying to coax him into rolling over. Instead, John pulled back with a slightly confused look, his pupils blown wide and the rest of him looking as far gone as Harry felt. "If you roll over, love, I'll bring you off in my mouth," Harry whispered directly into John's ear, following his offer with several tempting kisses to John's flushed neck. He didn't even notice the term of endearment that had slipped from his lips, though it didn't go unnoticed by John. </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">He was rewarded with a groan smothered into his shoulder and a full body shiver from Benton, his erection twitching against Harry's hip. "<em>Please</em>," Benton begged in reply, making Harry ache with arousal. Unsteadily, John shifted off of Harry, awkwardly moving to lay beside him on the double bed. His legs splayed out slightly, though one of his hands moved to cover his erection, almost trying to preserve his modesty as a reflex. Benton was blushing all the way down to his chest, Harry's gaze tracing its way down and then following the hills and valleys of Benton's lean-muscled form.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry rolled over to mirror their earlier position, all but draping himself over John as he sought another deep, lingering, kiss. Once Harry's lips were moving down John's neck, he was letting out nearly silent moans that vibrated against Harry's lips on their downward quest. Harry gave into the urge to kiss as lovingly as his heart deemed necessary, lips alternating between sweet closed mouthed ones and hot open-mouth tastes of John's skin. As he did so, John's hands roamed restlessly over the parts of him that he could reach, mainly his shoulders and upper back.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Relatively smoothly, Harry more or less climbed over John's leg, winding up between the 'v' of his legs, his hands stroking John's quivering thighs once he was settled. Harry was breathing more heavily now, a hand drifting down to wrap around both of their erections for a few moments, hoping to relieve a bit of the pressure that was mounting in both of them.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John gasped, his hands reaching for Harry's biceps and squeezing slightly too hard as their erections pressed together in Harry's loose fist. It was beyond erotic to feel John's hardness pressed against his own, nearly sending Harry hurtling toward orgasm. With an almost wounded sound of arousal, Harry dropped his hand away and he lifted his head to take in the sight of John with his head thrown back, before continuing to kiss his way down John's chest. Harry moaned into John's breastbone when the man's hands briefly tangled in his hair, his chest quaking under Harry's ministrations. He paused only for the briefest of teases at John's nipples and then at his lower belly, simply because he felt he could and because he thought that it would bring John pleasure. Given the way John writhed beneath him, he was right.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His previous...dalliances had been nothing so familiar, so intimate, and the differences were so stark that Harry was nearly as wound up as his partner by the time he was pressing open-mouthed kisses to Benton's thighs. The coarse hair tickled his burning hot cheeks, his lover's masculinity impossible to ignore. Those deceptively lean-looking thighs utterly trembled beneath him, John's hands moving to clutch tight at the sheet beneath them, and Harry could bear it no longer, his mouth finally moving to John's length. They were both breathing heavily, Harry's breath fanning out across John's groin, making his lover shiver.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His hands had to come up to brace John's hips as his lips tentatively kissed the side of John's length, keeping them from bucking up unconsciously as John gasped sharply and wriggled underneath him. That same curious sense of empowerment came over Harry again, prompting him to open his mouth and drag the tip of his tongue and his open lips along the length of John's penis. It twitched and pulsed wildly under his tongue, making Harry moan in response. His movements were uncoordinated, his own inexperience rearing its head even as Harry's desire pushed him into action.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Harry!," John gasped out desperately, his abdomen tensing up beneath Harry's arm where it lay draped across him, while his legs trembled more and more. They traded twin groans as Harry shifted his head just enough to take the tip of John's length into his mouth.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">It was more awkward than he'd have liked, Harry struggling to open his mouth quite wide enough to fit John's sizeable erection inside, without running afoul of his teeth. Switching tactics, Harry pulled off and gently cradled John's arousal, teasing his foreskin back and placing a series of wet kisses to the underside of John's penis. John drew in a gasping breath, spasming under Harry. It was a reaction that made him more confident, his tongue teasing the sensitive area just under John's frenulum and eliciting a broken moan of his name in response.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Oh, Harry," came Benton's wrecked voice, his name sounding almost as if it had gotten caught in Benton's throat on the way out. No one had ever said his name in that tone of voice before, Harry thought, hung up on the way it sounded in Benton's deep voice.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Benton's voice sounded so close to a sob that Harry just had to look upward at him, as best he could. Without realising it, Harry was expecting to find John with either his head tipped back or his eyes screwed shut. He'd have tried to tell himself that it was merely pleasure or fear of vulnerability, but it would have deeply bothered Harry had John been hiding from this in any way. However, his eyes met John's widened ones, the other man's gaze appearing to be utterly transfixed by the sight of Harry between his legs, the head of his penis now held hesitantly in his mouth.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John was biting his lower lip hard, his flushed chest raising and lowering with each gasp of air he drew in and let out. His hands were clenched tight into the sheet, his entire body taut and shivering. With what seemed like great effort, John lifted one of his hands from the now rumpled sheet and brought it up to caress the side of Harry's face. "You're so bloody beautiful," John said, his voice rough with more than just desire. Harry's eyes closed at theraw honesty as his heart pounded. His face burned so hot that he was certain that not only was his face bright red, but also that John could probably feel the heat from his cheeks.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Instinctually, Harry fluttered his tongue around the head, breathing hard through his nose as he shifted to lay practically sprawled over John's legs, his mouth opening further around John as he did so. They both moaned again, Benton's hips giving an aborted thrust upward as drops of pre-ejaculate hit Harry's tongue. It was erotic in a way that Harry didn't expect, his hand tightening around the base of John's erection.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Sorry," John apologised, his hand stroking Harry's face and into his curly hair before falling away to grip tightly at the sheet again. Harry opened his eyes and looked back up at Benton again, his mouth sinking lower still as his hand kept a firm grip. He took in the sight of Benton, no longer self-conscious and spread out on the bed, rapturously watching Harry go down on him, and realised that Benton was trembling not only from sensation, but also from the effort of holding himself back.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">The tiny thrusts of his pelvis under Harry's well-muscled arm and the way he gripped at the sheets instead of grabbing onto Harry's hair or head -- his sincere apology for a reflexive action that literally no man could help...they were all John's practically superhuman effort of holding back. The realisation brought another wave of affection crashing over Harry, thinking of the handful of times that he'd done this before and the way he'd been pushed and pulled this way or that. Instead, John was struggling against nature itself to not force Harry on further, going to great lengths to avoid rushing Harry along or pressuring him.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">The ache between his own legs was growing with each passing moment, his own hardness pressing into his thigh and the mattress. It was secondary, though, as Harry gave a few uncoordinated bobs of his head. The movements were clumsy but nevertheless John quietly moaned his approval and Harry repeated it until his jaw began to get sore from forcing it so wide open. His fist wet with saliva, Harry pulled off of John's erection with a slow suck that ended in an audible pop.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Even the obscenity of the sound couldn't ruin the tenderness of the moments that followed, Harry's heaving breath catching at the expression on John's face. John was favouring him with a look that suggested he had taken the love part of making love quite seriously indeed. His penis twitched strongly in Harry's grip, reddened with arousal and harder than ever as they took each other in.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry's slick hand moved slowly over John's length, twisting at the head and moving back down the heated flesh as he tried to get his breathing under control. He impulsively pressed kisses along John's hip and pubic bones, giving himself the freedom to let this stir his heart, as foolish as that might have been. Coarse hair tickled his cheeks and jaw, but the rest of John's skin was impossibly soft and warm under his lips, even as his muscles clenched under Harry's attention. Tenderness stole over Harry, the mental wounds of the day and all the lonely ones before it fading into the background of Harry's soul, the warmth from this moment chasing out the cold.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His entire Universe had narrowed to one beautiful, kind-hearted man. John Benton was the sort of lover Harry had never even let himself dream of, his fear of exposure and the secret nature of his work not lending itself towards the tender pash. John was more than thoughtful or considerate, over the moon with whatever Harry would give him, and it was impossible to keep from feeling the beginning stirrings of love. Here his lover was, shaking with the effort of staying still for him while clearly aroused beyond measure, looking as if he knew with absolute certainty that he was the most fortunate man in all of existence. Harry was beyond awed, giddy with warmth and yearning.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Harry," John moaned, making the man raise his head to properly meet his gaze, Harry's hand still teasing John's arousal as their eyes locked. "Can I...touch you? Is that all right?," John asked, surprisingly hesitant for a man who had the most sensitive part of his body already in Harry's hands. It was incredibly sweet and Harry couldn't help but smile in response.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Please do," Harry murmured, all but purring the words as he looked up at John, affection and arousal making his tone even huskier than intended. His hand stalled on John's length, holding it gently in his wet palm as Harry slid far up enough to kiss John on the lips. It wasn't until they were face to face that it occurred to Harry that John might not fancy kissing him, given where his mouth had been. Just as the thought popped into Harry's mind, John planted a particularly passionate kiss to his lips, uncaring of the fact his penis had just been in Harry's mouth.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Those large hands were tangling in his hair again as John thoroughly snogged him, his tongue dipping into Harry's mouth. As Harry expected, John pulled back at the taste, though his reaction was far from what he'd anticipated. John's eyes were half-lidded, his mouth still open slightly, his erection jumping in Harry's hand.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His hand moved to trace Harry's lips almost reverently before he asked, with no small amount of amazement: "Is that…?", presumably meaning the taste of himself in Harry's mouth.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Struck dumb, Harry could only nod in response. He was delighted when John leaned back in for another thorough snog, John making them both moan when he actively sought out the taste of himself in Harry's mouth. His tongue was no longer hesitant, sweeping in and out of Harry's mouth in a decidedly filthy manner that had both of their hearts pounding. Harry pulled back only when John's erection started twitching irregularly, leaking heavily against his palm, and when the angle they were holding became too uncomfortable with John bent nearly double and Harry straining upwards to meet his lips without moving from between John's legs. Harry eagerly trailed his way back down John's body with feverish kisses placed along his path, his hand stroking John's length with only a teasing pressure as they both sighed with pleasure.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His awkwardness didn't seem to matter anymore, Harry reflected for just a moment, pressing wet kisses along John's incredibly aroused erection and getting rewarded with a soft cry. His mouth opened easily for John now, his tongue teasing at the head while his hand stroked over the parts of John's erection that he couldn't reach with his mouth. John's hands never left him, but they didn't guide or move him either, those big gentle hands stroking Harry's curls or his arms as John quietly sighed and gasped his pleasure.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Feeling bolder than ever, Harry took Benton into his mouth as far as he could, valiantly fighting his gag reflex for a moment or two before pulling back up to a more comfortable depth and resuming shallower bobs of his head and tight strokes of his hand. John was gasping with every breath now, his hips uncontrollably shifting under Harry's arm, pre-ejaculate practically dripping onto Harry's tongue. So arousing was John's reaction that Harry did it again, takingthe man's penis as far into his mouth as he could, the heavy weight of him settling on Harry's tongue. Harry ignored the tickle in his throat from where Benton's head was brushing the back of his tongue, struggling to breathe heavily through his nose so that he could prolong the curiously powerful intimacy. The result was his tongue and soft palate undulating around John's length, a sensation that made John bring a fist up to his own mouth and bite at his thumb to keep from crying out loud enough to wake the entire base. After a few moments, though, Harry couldn't fight his gag reflex any longer and returned his attention to the tip of John's penis, his hand picking up the slack as John's hand returned to Harry's shoulder, a bite mark forming on his thumb.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Bloody Hell, you're perfect, Harry," John praised, his words genuinely sincere but coming out in a breathless rush. "So fucking handsome," he added, sounding so helplessly aroused that Harry felt half-mad with desire himself. He moaned encouragingly around John's erection, causing John to cry out softly.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I want you so bad, Harry," John began to babble now, unable to stop the words now that they'd begun. Harry did his best to reward John with harder suction and faster movements of his mouth and hand. "I'd let you have me any way you'd want me," John admitted, his voice so rawly honest that Harry positively burned with want, his eyes meeting John's lust-blown ones.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John's eyes widened as they took in Harry's utterly aroused expression, his erection spasming in Harry's mouth. "Harry, <em>God</em>. Harry, I'm gonna come off," Benton warned, his hips wiggling under Harry as he tried to hold off. His hand came up to cover his mouth, his gasping growing louder as a song on the radio came to an end.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry assumed that John was merely trying to prolong his pleasure, to stave off his impending orgasm for as long as he could. However, John's shaking hand came away from his mouth again, gingerly nudging Harry's shoulder with his fingertips. "Love, love, I <em>can't</em>. I'm gonna finish," Benton warned more urgently, it finally clicking in Harry's head. John was trying to avoid coming in his mouth, still trying his damnedest to be a considerate lover.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Suddenly certain of how he wanted things to go, Harry moaned around Benton's erection, their eyes meeting again. 'Go on, come in my mouth,' Harry tried to communicate without words, willing John to understand as he doubled his efforts to provide the most pleasure possible. His pace stayed at the same faster pace as before, but Harry tried to suck more forcefully on the upstroke, stroking with the bottom of his tongue as he dipped down onto John's penis and came back up.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John's eyes were huge in response, realising that Harry knew he was about to orgasm and that he fully intended to let John come in his mouth. Harry moaned around John's length as the implications became clear to John, his lover looking as if he couldn't <em>believe</em> he'd be afforded a privilege like that. "<em>Harry</em>," Benton cried out helplessly, his hands caressing Harry's shoulders and arms wildly, never staying in place for more than a moment. He was tense all over, his toes curling and leg muscles locked tight while he maintained eye-contact with Harry.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">As John's length hardened further, fluid leaking from the tip constantly now, Harry found himself drowning in the eroticism of it all. John was so enthralling, long lean body tense with pleasure because of him, his blue eyes lit with passion and adoration, his large hands carefully avoiding directing Harry's movements but still caressing and clinging. Just when Harry thought it couldn't possibly get any better, John bit back another gasp of his name, his erection pulsing in Harry's mouth as a final last minutewarning.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry moaned in anticipation, bobbing down as far as he could on John's penis one final time before sucking hard on the upstroke, his hand twisting slightly around the base of John's erection. His eyes stayed locked on John's face, despite the awkward angle, and he blindly reached for one of John's hands, guiding it to his hair as he kept tonguing the head of John's penis and massaging the shaft with his hand. Obligingly, Benton's fingers tangled in his curls as the man softly cried out with each flick of Harry's tongue or twist of his hand. His hips tilted toward Harry every few seconds, despite John's efforts to stay still.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">As John's climax approached, his hand accidentally pulled at Harry's hair, a sharp sting of sensation that felt curiously electric. Harry moaned at the feeling before John could even halfway formulate an apology, his eyes pleading up at his oh-so gentle lover for an intentional repeat of John's loss of control. Tentative even on the brink of orgasm, Benton's hand gradually tightened its grip on Harry's curls, tugging at them as he struggled to hold off on coming for just a few moments more. A deep groan of pure want rumbled up from Harry's throat at the sting, the sound vibrating around John's length and making him cry out. One last swipe of Harry's tongue and John was spilling into his mouth with a muffled gasp of Harry's name followed by several soft formless moans.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Another groan escaped Harry at the first splash of come on his tongue, John's orgasm so mind-meltingly arousing that he paid no notice to the texture or taste of his ejaculate beyond the hot saltiness of it as he swallowed as quickly as he could. He earned a broken moan from John as he swallowed around John's erection, the penis in his mouth still dripping and spasming almost rhythmically. Harry, too, moaned at the knowledge that he had brought John off with his mouth and that he'd enjoyed every moment of it. John was shaking all over with the force of his orgasm, a sheen of sweat glistening on his chest as he struggled to breathe in the wake of his pleasure.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John's eyes only closed for the briefest of moments at his peak, purely on reflex, opening again almost immediately to see some of his semen escaping from the corners of Harry's lips. He gaped slightly at the sight, his eyes wide and his breath stalling in his chest. "<em>Harry</em>," John murmured, his name sounding more like an exaltation than a moan.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">He whimpered as Harry bent his head down again, cleaning off come that had escaped his mouth. His grip on Harry's hair loosened as Harry slowly slid his mouth off of John's length and John tenderly rubbed away the sting lingering behind on Harry's scalp from the way Harry had encouraged him to pull his hair. Feeling decidedly dirty, Harry gently held John's spent penis in his hand, opening his mouth and licking away any of John's semen that he'd missed. It was most certainly the filthiest act that Harry had ever done, but was also curiously tender, John's hand stroking his burning hot face so sweetly that Harry felt bizarrely close to tears at his blatant affection. They were both sort of dazed as Harry finally pulled away and rose to his knees between John's spread-eagled legs, his mouth red and swollen, his face flushed and hair standing nearly straight up.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Where John's wet erection was slowly softening where it lay against his thigh, Harry's was harder than ever before, twitching in mid-air. He paid little notice to it, though, his eyes trying to burn the image of a post-coital John Benton into his mind while the slightly metallic taste of his seed lingered on Harry's tongue. They were both panting and drinking one another in, chests heaving and eyes roaming everywhere. John's penis gave a heroic twitch at the tense arousal of the moment, despite being utterly spent. It was beyond flattering in Harry's opinion.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Somewhat uncoordinated, John rose up into an awkward half-sitting position, his legs still splayed wide around Harry. Harry was caught off-guard by the intensely loving look he was then given, supposing that he still half-expected John's demeanour to change now that he'd reached orgasm. Almost as if he could read Harry's mind, John offered up a giddily shy smile, looking as if he had just won some sort of prize and that it was all Harry's doing. His hands framed Harry's burning hot face, his thumbs stroking Harry's cheekbones.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Bloody Hell, Harry," John breathed, his tone equally impressed and delighted. It prompted a timid smile from Harry in return, who was still fighting to come to grips with both the intimacy that had grown between them and the awareness of just how much he'd enjoyed making love to a man. He felt more vulnerable now than he had during the act itself and it wasn't hard for John to pick up. Ever so sweetly, John leaned forward quite a ways, pressing a lingering kiss to Harry's lips.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry's erection throbbed when John moaned at the taste of his seed on Harry's lips and Harry deepened the kiss accordingly, swallowing John's answering sigh as his tongue swept into Harry's mouth. It was a tremendously awkward angle for Benton, though, and he regretfully pulled away. His gaze swept down over Harry's fit body as he lay back on the bed, licking his lips and tastingremnants of himself.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"How d'you want me?," John asked with a hint of a smile, still clearly feeling boneless from the mind-blowing pleasure of mere moments before but his attention to Harry still razor sharp. In that minute, such was the look on John's face, it seemed to Harry that he'd have done any number of things to bring Harry even a fraction of the pleasure he'd been given. Dozens of scenarios flitted through Harry's mind, each of them equal parts dirty and intimate.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry imagined bringing himself off between John's thighs, gently sliding between them and finding his release there. He also fantasised about teaching John how to perform fellatio, or rather, teaching John as much as he himself knew about it -- though Harry supposed some small amount of smugness was warranted in regard to his fellatio skills, given the way John was sprawled out before him, sated and happy. Another immediate favourite idea was having John wrap one of those strong hands around his arousal while Harry coaxed one of John's thick fingers inside him.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">The last option would allow for Harry to kiss John and look at him during, which was immediately appealing. Unable to stop thinking about it once it was in his mind, Harry moved to kiss Benton sweetly, the two of them sharing another smile as he pulled back. "I want you every which way I can have you, John," Harry admitted, somewhat awkwardly shifting to lay beside his lover again.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John was turning towards him the moment he settled back against the pillow, rolling over to caress Harry's chest with a wide grin that made Harry's heart beat faster. "Well, I'm all yours," John spoke, still grinning as he leaned forward to kiss Harry, pausing just a few centimetres from Harry's waiting mouth. "Now, what do you want to do with me?," Benton asked, not waiting for an answer before he kissed Harry hard.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry was swept away yet again by John, his hands carding through John's hair as he was kissed just as vigorously as before, John's passion for him apparently not dimmed even in the afterglow of his orgasm. It was Harry's turn to sigh as John's lips left his mouth, kissing reverently down his jaw as his large hand caressed Harry's chest. John's trigger callouses caught enticingly on his nipples, pulling a deep groan from Harry and an answering sigh of satisfaction from John. His mouth and hand moved downwards together, John's hand following Harry's chest hair down to his abdomen, trailing along the path of hair below Harry's navel and back up again as his eager lips descended on Harry's neck and collarbone.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Despite his aching arousal, Harry was loathe to hurry John onwards, finding that he felt a curious sense of completion with the level of intimacy that John was carefully crafting. His lips were now following the dips and swells of Harry's chest and abdomen, an occasional shaky breath blowing across Harry's damp skin as John never lifted his head for a moment. John paid significantly more attention to Harry's chest than anyone else ever had, his hand and mouth were preoccupied with teasing both of Harry's nipples -- an action that proved to be far more erotic than Harry could have ever imagined.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">It seemed as though there were nerves running directly from his nipples to his penis, as ludicrous as the notion was, and Harry couldn't quite believe that he'd made it through adulthood without knowing that he had such a powerful erogenous zone. His breath hitched and caught repeatedly in his throat, unable to even get enough air to properly moan as John alternated sides, his fingers now teasing a rapidly cooling and over sensitive nipple. Harry's hands had come to still on the back of Benton's neck and on the arm he was using to brace himself over Harry, so caught up in sensation and feeling that he wasn't able to do much but lay there and enjoy John's loving exploration of his body. The stress and sadness of the day, of the rather lonely nature of his life in general, faded away bit by bit as John set about making love to him.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry felt simultaneously soothed and further aroused, especially when John lifted his head to smile lopsidedly up at him before seeking out another kiss that left Harry yearning for him. By the time John pulled back again, Harry was nearlydesperate for stimulation, his erection and even his testicles throbbing.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Love, I need...," Harry began, trailing off as John's large hand hesitantly wrapped around him and his mouth went dry. John's eyes were locked on Harry's erection, impossibly aroused and flushed nearly purple, the head poking out from underneath his foreskin and leaking heavily enough to slick the tentative movements of John's hand. His hand moved down to stroke at the sensitive skin of Harry's balls, making Harry wiggle at the almost ticklish sensation.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John's eyes met his, his entire sweet face seeming to smile as he realised that his touch was too light to the point of tickling, not even teasing. Harry returned the sentiments echoed there in John's tender expression, a fond smile of his own curving his lips and breaking the tension caused by Harry's need and John's inexperience. His hand moved up to wrap more firmly around Harry's penis, stroking him from root to tip and clumsily trying to recreate the way Harry had taken him in hand.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">A dozen or so strokes where John tested his grip and experimented with different motions was all it took for John to get the hang of stroking someone else's penis and for Harry to start writhing under his touch. He was concentrating so hard that his brows furrowed together in an intense expression that only turned Harry on further. His hand gripped Harry's length with the perfect amount of pressure and he ended each stroke with a slightly clumsy brush of his palm against the head of Harry's erection.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"That's perfect, John," Harry praised, grinning dazedly when his praise made John duck his head shyly. "May I see your other hand?," he inquired after half a dozen more absolutely perfect strokes of John's hand. Confused but willing to follow Harry's lead, John obliged, shifting his weight to his knees to hold out his free hand for Harry to take in both of his. His trust made Harry feel bold enough to do what he had fantasised about only moments ago; he brought John's hand to his lips and, after pressing a brief kiss to the pads of John's first two fingers and positioning John's hand just so, drew John's index finger into his mouth in the same manner that he had brought John off in. His tongue traced over the bends of John's knuckles, feeling almost as dirty as he had earlier as he purposely let his saliva pool so that John's finger would be slick.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John's rhythm faltered, his hand stilling on Harry's length as he drew in a sharp breath at the unexpected eroticism of Harry's mouth enveloping his finger and the realisation of what Harry was about to ask of him. "Are you sure?," John breathed as Harry released his finger, Harry's penis twitching at the naughtiness of John's finger glistening with his spit.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Yes," Harry murmured, tone pleading. "Please," he tacked on, more than a little desperate. Within seconds, John's hand was joining his other and then slipping lower. His other hand resumed stroking, slower this time as John concentrated elsewhere, and his wet hand moved to rub at Harry's arse. John sucked in a breath at the eroticism of touching Harry so intimately, though Harry didn't hear him.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry moaned at just the gentle pressure, making John's gaze snap upwards to his. His breath caught at the curious but fierce desire he found on John's face, his erection jumping in John's grasp. It was beyond anything Harry had ever had directed his way and Harry felt as he were mere moments from climax. However, John's hand disappeared from his backside at a critical moment.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Before Harry could do more than verbalise his displeasure in a soft moan of disappointment, John was spitting into his own hand. Harry could scarcely believe it, but he found even that erotic. John's hands picked up where they left off, one stroking Harry with the perfect amount of pressure and the other rubbing insistently at Harry's arse. It didn't even matter that John had yet to slide even a fingertip inside him, just the vulnerability of letting a lover touch him in such a way was arousing beyond measure. John dipped his finger in just a tiny bit, breaching Harry with its thick blunt tip, sending sparks of sensation throughout him. It was just enough to feel decidedly naughty, but not enough penetration to hurt -- a proper tease that was so much better than the bordering on painful fantasy he'd had in mind.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Kiss me, please," Harry pleaded, feeling his bollocks tighten and the fire burning bright in his belly turn from embers to a bloody inferno. John had to rearrange himself again to meet Harry's request, his hand dropping from its feverish caress of Harry's arse so he could brace himself without removing his hand from Harry's arousal. John was now resting against Harry's thigh and pressed against his stomach and chest, his hand still stroking Harry's length.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">The moment their lips touched, John's hand twisted on a downstroke and Harry was lost. Everything was John Benton, the smell of his aftershave and the warmth of his large body covering Harry oh so carefully, the roughness of his hand jerking Harry into climax. His own hands clung to John's broad shoulders as he groaned into their kiss, his penis twitching as he came off all over John's big hand and their sides. Harry's eyes all but rolled into the back of his head, his whole body tense and rigid as John kept stroking him through his orgasm, the two of them sharing breath as they panted against each other's lips. Harry was approaching bonelessness as John pulled his hand away and looked down at the mess Harry had made of his hand. Before Harry could get the words out to offer a method of cleanup, John was curiously raising his hand up to his lips as he sat back up between Harry's legs, his tongue dipping out of his mouth to taste Harry's come. He made a slight face but ultimately shrugged, leaving Harry to think that John had expected something more offensive in flavour. It was more adorable than Harry would have ever imagined such a scenario being, but leave it to John Benton to somehow manage being mind-numbingly arousing and adorable at the same time.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Bloody Hell, love, you could kill a man doing something like that so soon after," Harry murmured, his chest heaving and body slick with sweat and other fluids. He earned an incredulous laugh from John at the comment, grinning at the happy sound as he reached for his shirt over the edge of the bed.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"You're one to talk," John replied, looking far too pleased with himself when Harry's lashes dipped down shyly once more. It felt curiously good to be teased by John and Harry wasn't quite sure how to communicate that beyond a shy smile.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Here, I have to send these out, anyway," Harry said, offering up his shirt to clean off John's hand, then taking charge and wiping it off for him. The moment unexpectedly turned tender again, Harry wiping away the mess from John's strong hands while John watched him carefully. John very thoughtfully took the shirt from Harry's grasp afterwards, using it to wipe down Harry's abdomen and then his own. They were both gestures of care and intimacy, related to the act but nothing necessary and so Harry felt out of kilter again, not knowing what to do or what John would want.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John favoured him a look that said that he was wondering much the same, which only made the decision for Harry. Harry held out his arms and John was settling in them somewhat awkwardly, his head pillowed against Harry's chest. The tension slowly faded from them as they drew in deeper breaths, the sweat cooling on their skin. Harry smiled weakly as John's arm wrapped around him and a muscular leg slowly shifted between his own. His own arms were both twined around John's upper body, one resting on his back and the other on John's arm.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I know that I can't sleep here," John started after a moment, "but is it all right if I stay a while?" His words were nearly as cautious as before, making something fiercely protective swell up in Harry. His arms tightened around John, his lover making a pleased sound at the squeeze.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Of course. I--," Harry began to reply, until his words became tangled in his mouth. "I wish you <em>could</em> stay," he said ultimately, because it was the truth. John had removed the weight of the world from his shoulders and judging by the way John was curled around him, the feeling was mutual. The gaping hole of loneliness had been filled with candy floss and spun sugar -- light and sugary sweet in a way that Harry had never anticipated happening to him. It should have been terrifying, he reckoned, to fall in love so easily, but Harry was merely awash in tender hope for the future.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">That hope grew when he felt John smile against his chest. "Yeah?," Benton asked, his tone soft, sweet, and shy in a way that left Harry feeling giddy. His hand stroked John's upper back, inspiring John to gently caress his chest with the calloused pads of his fingers. Harry felt all choked up once more, because it had certainly never been like this before.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Could I...um, could we...see each other?," John asked, all awkward and bumbling shyness that left Harry with images of nights in pubs and trips to the cinema, of knees knocking together under a table and of quiet kisses in Harry's flat. Harry knew he must already be so far gone on the man in his arms to even contemplate the risk, but Harry also knew that he couldn't go back to that empty flat and hollow life after <em>this</em>, knowing that John was out there and that he was wanted.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"...Yes, please. I'd like that -- I'd love it, actually," Harry replied, every bit as bumbling and awkward and hopeful as John had been. He was rewarded with John shifting in his hold for another kiss, one that was all joyous gratitude. John's lips were still curved up into a smile until Harry kissed him back, though it returned full-force once they pulled back. It felt like having the Sun shining on your face on a warm Summer's day after you'd been away somewhere cold; John was almost unbearably warm and bright, chasing out the cold and drying out the damp parts of Harry's mood.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John's head settled on Harry's chest again, the two of them trading idle caresses as the radio played on in the background. "May I ask you something?," Harry inquired after a song came to end, knowing that John hadn't yet fallen asleep, as he could feel the tickle of John's eyelashes brushing his skin every time that he blinked.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Sure," John replied easily, the curve of another smile pressing against Harry now, too. Harry's hand paused in his stroking of John's back as he contemplated the right words.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"When you said that you had to know, earlier...did you, ah, mean that you had to know if you fancied me or blokes in general...or if you had to know if I'd fancy you?," Harry inquired, wondering if his line of questioning was a fair one, given the amount of intimacy they'd shared.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">His question apparently warranted careful consideration and Harry tried not to let that make him nervous. "A bit of both? Uh, I mean all three," Benton murmured, sounding slightly uncertain, "I didn't really know if you fancied me, so...but, I think maybe I've known about myself for a long time? I still fancy ladies, but when I met M--someone, I kind of realised that maybe I've liked both sides for a while? And by the time that I met you...well, I knew enough to know that I fancy you...but I wanted to be sure, I guess. About all of it. Me and you," Benton continued, his voice trailing off when he had to try and put his self-understanding into words.<br/><br/></p>
<p class="p1">Harry was relieved by the time that John was finished speaking, mollified by the fact that there was a more solid basis to their attraction and the deeper bond forming between them than a passing curiosity. "Forgive me, this is truly none of my business, but was it Captain Yates that you...?," Harry asked, trailing off because he had no idea how to finish that inquiry.<br/><br/></p>
<p class="p1">He hadn't known Yates beyond a passing acquaintance but Harry was very much aware of how badly John had taken the news of his medical discharge. He'd long suspected that there was more to Benton's reluctance to discuss the Captain, but Harry had thought that it was work-related or possibly the result of a romantic rivalry.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">John drew in a deep breath at his question, confirming Harry's suspicions before even saying a word. "Yes. I buried it for so long that I didn't realise 'til after...he was gone, what the score was," John answered, soft and with what sounded like brutal honesty that cost him a great deal.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry's hands stroked over Benton in apology for broaching such a painful subject. John sighed softly in response and shifted into his hold so that they were pressed against each other more firmly. "How did you...know? About me, that is," Harry asked after a moment, able to face the question without terror in the safety of their post-coital world.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">He was surprised to hear John laugh. "Honestly? I don't know, I suppose that I thought I caught you looking at me or the lads a couple times but I guess I just...hoped? Sounds insane or daft when I say it out-loud, well, considering...," John remarked, scoffing at his apparently very bold seduction.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">Harry chuckled a bit, too, feeling comforted by the fact that he probably hadn't been tremendously obvious to anyone else. It often took one to know one, at least in Harry's limited experience. "Well, I'm glad you took a chance." Harry meant it, feeling contentment running through him for the first time in recent memory.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"You know, I'm due for leave before our next posting...and the Brigadier thinks that we'll be finished up here in a week or two," Harry began to add, trying to build up to his offer and realising that he must have failed miserably as John pulled back to level a fond grin at him.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Are you asking me to go on holiday with you?," Benton asked, looking for all the world like a child presented with Christmas six months early.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Er, yes, I suppose I am," Harry replied, suddenly understanding why people in love would act like such fools when John's expression left him feeling like the best thing in the cosmos.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I'd love to. I'm due for leave too, the Brig wants us all in tip-top shape for the big 'do' at the Space Defence Station next month." His words left Harry grinning, and not just because he was apparently a kept man now. Which was just bally marvellous, on its own. </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"I'm going to posted there too," he somewhat gleefully informed John, wondering if he'd be able to talk the Brigadier into putting their rooms nearby, under the guise of friendship of course. Harry delighted in the way the news lit John's face up, a strange tightness forming in his chest at the sight. What he wouldn't do to keep that smile there forever, lighting John up from the outside in and back out again.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">"Oh, you're never getting rid of me now," John teased, craning his neck for another series of kisses that left Harry feeling like he'd been born anew. Good, he thought to himself, I don't want to be rid of you.</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please come scream with me about Benton or Harry on tumblr: lostlonelylotus.tumblr.com!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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